Grieving is messy and difficult. We like things easy with clear steps to follow. This is why many people gravitate to the “5 Stage of Grief” by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross when they are grieving. Most people do not realize those stages were actually created to explain what the person who is dying goes through, not the grief those who are left behind actually experience.
The grief felt after the death of a loved one is far more involved than five steps, which often leads people to believe, they are grieving wrong. There is no “right or wrong” way to the feelings one experiences when they are grieving and there is not a timeframe. Many feel if they make it through the emotions, and challenges of the first year after the death, things “should be better”. The truth is often people will find the second year more difficult to navigate than the first. Grief triggers can come from a smell, a song or even food can bring up unexpected emotions. We want grief to be easy and linear but in reality, it is far messier. If you are grieving, take care of yourself by give yourself grace and patience. It helps to talk with people you trust about what you experiencing and going through.